If You're Going To Invite Me to Coffee, At Least Get My Name Right

I'm happy to receive requests to meet up for coffee from anyone involved in my line of work, and nine times out of ten I will accept them if I can spare the time. Spending time and sharing thoughts with others from other walks of life (and work) introduces new learnings and richer perspectives healthy for personal & community growth.    

That said, I am entirely uninterested in receiving requests from those looking to either a) probe me for information followed by an abrupt cut-and-run, or b) those hoping to "network" with me to obtain contact information of others I know. If you want information, go find it yourself, and if you want to contact my contacts, contact them yourself.

I recently met with a guy like this despite being warned not to by a trusted colleague. I met with this person out of curiosity - I wanted to learn how douchebags behave, mainly because I don't know many douchebags. Man did this guy personify douchhebagery. Here's how he struck out, which are all signals this is not someone I want to be associated with under any circumstances:    

  • Strike 1: He called me "Joe". My name is "Jon"
  • Strike 2: He didn't offer to buy me a cup of coffee after I made an effort to join him. 
  • Strike 3: He lied about his background, asked me for information, asked me for contact details (I didn't share either of course), and then proceeded to explain how he was trying to start a project and needed a product and product People to help him.

Why would I help him?!  What, I'm that guy you can talk to, get information from without reciprocating, get contacts from, and build a product for you, without offering anything in return (not even a friggin cup of coffee)?  No thanks. Go elsewhere. Excommunication would be a suitable option.  

I'm quite certain I can ID douchebaggery from afar following this learning experience, but the below UD explanation also helps:

Ostentatious display of affectation in its most conspicuous form; haughtiness without any diminutive regard to others; Provoking others with a habitually pompous attitude or disposition.

Yeah, that about sums up the sentiment.